Fall Down Already!
This is the first year that I have a season pass to a ski resort. Aaron has had season passes, like he has elementary school photos, one just about every year. So, I set the completely unreasonable goal of skiing 50 times this season. (I don’t think I have skied 50 times in my life! But if you are going to be unreasonable… BE unreasonable!) Today was day #13. I can tell I am getting better and stronger. I started out in days 1-5 trying to get to the bottom of what goes on in my head when I am skiing. I was looking at “authentic fear” -real fear like a shark is swimming toward you and “inauthentic fear” – fear of calling someone on the phone who is mad at you. In one case your life is really in danger, in the other case you might feel like your life is in danger but you are safe in your living room.
Aaron and I were on the lift chairs and I asked him, “Do you think the fear you feel when skiing is authentic fear or inauthentic fear?”
Aaron: “What are you talking about? I don’t feel fear when I am skiing.”
Me: “Oh. What do you feel when skiing?”
Aaron: “I feel like I’m have having a blast!”
Then I got to look at what exactly I was afraid of! What was I saying to myself in my head while skiing? I only had to pay attention on the next run to notice I was totally focused on one phrase. “DO NOT FALL!” It was there, over and over again in my head. “DO NOT FALL!”
The next ride up on the chairs I told Aaron, “I am so focused on NOT falling, there is no room to enjoy myself!”
Aaron: “So, fall then!”
It had snowed pretty recently and there was a lot of powder. He made it to the bottom of the hill before I did and he stood there yelling; “FALL RACHEL! FALL! WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? FALL DOWN! FALL DOWN NOW!”
I fell.
I didn’t die.
I didn’t get hurt.
I didn’t die of embarrassment either.
No one threw things at me or mocked me.
I fell. I got up. I kept skiing.
When the girls came home from school. Leah asked if we went skiing. When I told her we went that morning she asked, “Mom, did you fall down when you were skiing?”
Puzzled I answered, “Yes. I did.”
Leah: “Good for you mom. When you fall it means you are trying something new. You are trying something different and you are getting better at skiing.”
There you have it! I guess I should have consulted Leah in the first place.
Which gives me a great idea! I am going to work on getting a Powdershot of me falling!! HA!! Then VICTORY will be mine!
