Comments on: That Child Screaming on the Plane… is Mine

By: Patience

Patience — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 08:20:44 +0000

Just an idea that works for my family:
When we travel with our kids we bring a jar full of disposable ear plugs. They’re cheap enough. We let people know they’re available at the start of a long flight and we say we’ll do the best we can to keep the kids quiet. It makes a big difference in how we are treated by our fellow passengers.

By: Kiesha

Kiesha — Sat, 25 Sep 2010 16:56:03 +0000

I don’t know if this has been said yet. My son has Autism which Sensory Intergration Disorder goes right along side it. We’ve dealt with ALOT of these situations, and he’s only 5. It is difficult because, on one hand, people hear him speak and assume he’s just being a spoiled brat(HF with above age level articulation) or they see his wheelchair and AFOs and assume that he’s cognitively impaired. My husband and I end up with the “Control your Kid” looks or the ” How DARE you discipline that poor child” looks.

To avoid sensory meltdowns in situations like yours ( closed in places with alot of people, places where we cant get up and leave, places where quiet is expected, etc), we found that an MP3 player helped ALOT. We got him a kid one, the LEGO MP3 player and it works wonders. It allows him to tune out the world and ignore the small noises or startling noises. My son is 5 and still has the startle reflex which drives him nuts. This can even help him fall asleep since noises activating that startle reflex won’t be waking him up. We filled it with kid songs and disney songs, even your songs from our CD. Weighted vests and blankets work wonders for him, too.

I hope this can help you out.

By: She's Not Heavy... | ohamanda.com

She's Not Heavy... | ohamanda.com — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 19:02:08 +0000

[...] of her posts. Rachel is a woman on fire. She is a purposeful mother who blogs honestly about her shortcomings as a mother, her motivations and her children’s [...]

By: candi

candi — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 05:10:28 +0000

Rachel,
a WONDERFUL book that will help with tactics to curb the sensory meltdowns is Called Parenting by Doug and Patsy Arnold. You can get the digital download on LULU for $15. My son and daughter are both on the autism spectrum and have serious sensory issues… we have used this book both to understand them and to help them in many ways. It is aimed at parents who home school their special needs children, but the information applies to all children with special needs.

By: C.T.

C.T. — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 23:04:56 +0000

I felt (and experienced) every syllable of your story. I’ve been in locked rooms crying. I’ve been cruelly stared down on planes. My daughter would be set off by sitting 1 inch too close to her or because I breathed a decibel above her limits. Our problem was that because she looked normal people just thought she was spoiled and I was a terrible mother. I cope with comedy just like you…what else can you do (except go crazy). She is 16 now and with a good doctor, she is finally coping and becoming a beautiful young women. X

By: Jenn

Jenn — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 17:17:42 +0000

I know this is an old post- I just wanted to comment. Your post brought tears to my eyes, and then made me smile. Thank you for being so brave to share such personal feelings.

I can’t pretend to know what you go through because I don’t have a child with a disability. But I do have 5 children. Sometimes I feel like mom of the year, but more often then not I’m just fumbling my way through and hope the kids don’t notice. I’ve felt joy at the blessings that God has given me, and on bad days I’ve wondered what on earth possessed us to have 5 kids. And then I feel guilty for thinking such a thing. On the bad days, I feel like the kids are kicking my behind, and I feel so defeated, and sometimes resentful. And then the Lord reminds me of my place and perspective in this world. They are not *my* children. They are His.

I think all parents just have to take things one day at a time, and pray for God to guide us through it as it comes.

God bless you and your family as you find your way together in this life. You have been such a blessing to so many others.

-Jenn

By: Kama

Kama — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 16:14:39 +0000

Wow, what an experience Rachel! It hit pretty close to home because I’ve had very similar experiences with my oldest daughter (9 yrs old now). I thought for a long time that I must be the worst parent in the world because of how out of control she acted sometimes. It’s a terrible, terrible feeling for a parent to be yelled at like for a good hour that knowing there is absolutely nothing they can do to stop it. I’m in 100% empathy with you on that one!

In our case, we finally found out that the solution was sickeningly simple. It was almost wrong to be so simple. I learned about the scientifically based Feingold Diet and stopped feeding my daughter artificial colors and flavors (that means none–zilch, zero, not even a tiny bit). In 1 week, I had a different kid. Her outbursts stopped. I don’t know if it’d help with Lucy, but it sure worked miracles for us. We’ve proved it many times over also when she accidentally gets some artificial colors—whamo!

On another note, your videos have proven to help my 2 year old son really start talking. I almost took him to speech therapy because he was being so challenged in talking. I found your video snippets on youtube.com and started showing him those. In just a week of doing that, his vocabulary and pronunciation started improving dramatically. He LOVES those snippets! (We just do snippets right now because with our home business, finances are a little tight. As soon as I can though, you’d better bet I’ll be buying piles of your videos!).

So thank you! You’re work is a real blessing in our family.

Kama

By: Rocio

Rocio — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 05:06:09 +0000

I have traveled with my children on a plane several times, my son (5yr) has always been pretty good, but my daughter (18mo.now) was one of the crying babies last summer. She was 11 months old. I tried everything I had (milk, water,food..) but she was just tired and could not sleep. She is not used to sleeping on my lap, only the crib. So I did get the look of some people but others were nice who had kids and understood.
But let me tell you that she screams when we go to the doctor. It’s awful, for the last 3 or 4 months she has been the screamer. She has had her appt for the flu shots, the spina bifida clinic, her audiologist, ear infections,…all kinds of doctor visits and there is nothing I can do, any suggestions? I have tried treats, toys, distractions, songs. I just think she has had enough, but she has to keep going. Her disability requires care and there is no choice, plus the regular appt. for kids her age.

By: Caitlin

Caitlin — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 21:48:38 +0000

I googled your name because my son loves the songs that he sees you singing on Nick Jr. I didnt expect to find your blog. I love the way you write and how you share even the most embarassing stories with us. I want to thank you for the work you do. My son is learning sign language because he refuses to talk and he enjoys watching your videos.

By: Rachel Coleman

Rachel Coleman — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 23:29:48 +0000

Melissa: Hmmm. Since we only hit the beach a couple of times a year, I am not sure that we’re ready for it. Like I said I always see them, when Lucy is not with us. (Of course) But thanks for the info. I love sharing ideas and hearing about what works.

Sally Oster: A magic wand? Wish for anything? I would wish that we knew why she was having breakdowns. I want to know why they happen and what I can do to support her through them or to help her avoid them all together. I would want to know why, when she CAN communicate so well, she chooses not to sometimes. Where is the switch to flip?

Erica: Cool! I think it’s great that those area available. We may just have to swing through Colorado and check it out.

Elspeth: Interesting. I can relate. I remember times I shut down, even though I knew what was wrong. I just wouldn’t say it. Maybe she gets it from me.

Gigi: Oh good! Someone I can call for backup. Now, I think it would be comical for someone who has read this to actually be nearby when it happens again. Wouldn’t you all feel empowered to help?

rachel: LOL, get ready for this. (I’m blushing) One day in Mexico we were near the pool and Lucy started having a moment. She started screaming for no reason I could see. It was a cool day, and the pool was cool too. I picked her up, thinking pretty much what you said, what if I could shock her out of it. I was smiling when I did this. She kept screaming, so I jumped into the cold pool with her. She was SO MAD. She kept screaming. I kept smiling. LOL I think Aaron was shocked. He took some great pictures of the event though;) She wouldn’t stop as I swam around with her. So I said,(smiling) “On the count of 3 you are going under!” She can hold her breath and go under water. So I counted and dunked her. (MADDER STILL) and I was almost laughing, because I now what. I counted again and dunked her. She came up yelling. I think I dunked her 3 or 4 times before she said. “Why did you do that to me?”I said, “You were out of control. You can’t scream under water.” Her response, “That was rude mom!”

What are our options? We can’t spank our kids anymore.

Lauren @ hobomama: I know. Everyone stares straight ahead and pretends they are not impacted. HELLO! I really did talk to the flight attendants on our next flight too. I told them to please intervene if my daughter starts screaming. At first they were thrilled. They came up to meet Lucy and then pulled me aside and said, “Wait, she has a disability, maybe she can’t help it.” I told them, she can help it and PLEASE help me if she screams!

I think the moral of the story is, give people permission to help. Tell them the best way to help.

Tammie: I wouldn’t say we do everything right. Sometimes it feels like we are muddling through. Recently when she needs a timeout. I put on headphones and work in another room. It throws her off that she is getting no response to her tirade. When the time is up, or when I’m ready I’ll start talking to her. Last time she asked, “Couldn’t you hear me?” I said, “No I was working. I have better things to do than listen to you scream at me.”

RaeAnne: Well it is sounding more and more like SPD isn’t it. Maybe it’s time to try a new OT and PT,

rachel: REALLY? I have wondered if there is something that can take it down a notch, though I hate the thought of doping her up. Interesting. How did they diagnose it? What kind of doctor did the eval? or tests? I’ve had people suggest she might be depressed, a little Zoloft might help, but I don’t think that’s it.

Kayren Babcock: I hope there’s a special place in Heaven, because sometimes it’s a living Hell.

Venisa: Leah is very bright. We worked hard to make sure she acquired language in spite of her inability to hear language.

Li & Alana davey: I love all of the great resources coming in! Thank you.

Christopher: Wow! All I can say is wow! Your 5th?

Debora McFarlane: I don’t think it is spoiling him at all.