Comments on: That Child Screaming on the Plane… is Mine

By: Rocio

Rocio — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 05:06:09 +0000

I have traveled with my children on a plane several times, my son (5yr) has always been pretty good, but my daughter (18mo.now) was one of the crying babies last summer. She was 11 months old. I tried everything I had (milk, water,food..) but she was just tired and could not sleep. She is not used to sleeping on my lap, only the crib. So I did get the look of some people but others were nice who had kids and understood.
But let me tell you that she screams when we go to the doctor. It’s awful, for the last 3 or 4 months she has been the screamer. She has had her appt for the flu shots, the spina bifida clinic, her audiologist, ear infections,…all kinds of doctor visits and there is nothing I can do, any suggestions? I have tried treats, toys, distractions, songs. I just think she has had enough, but she has to keep going. Her disability requires care and there is no choice, plus the regular appt. for kids her age.

By: Caitlin

Caitlin — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 21:48:38 +0000

I googled your name because my son loves the songs that he sees you singing on Nick Jr. I didnt expect to find your blog. I love the way you write and how you share even the most embarassing stories with us. I want to thank you for the work you do. My son is learning sign language because he refuses to talk and he enjoys watching your videos.

By: Rachel Coleman

Rachel Coleman — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 23:29:48 +0000

Melissa: Hmmm. Since we only hit the beach a couple of times a year, I am not sure that we’re ready for it. Like I said I always see them, when Lucy is not with us. (Of course) But thanks for the info. I love sharing ideas and hearing about what works.

Sally Oster: A magic wand? Wish for anything? I would wish that we knew why she was having breakdowns. I want to know why they happen and what I can do to support her through them or to help her avoid them all together. I would want to know why, when she CAN communicate so well, she chooses not to sometimes. Where is the switch to flip?

Erica: Cool! I think it’s great that those area available. We may just have to swing through Colorado and check it out.

Elspeth: Interesting. I can relate. I remember times I shut down, even though I knew what was wrong. I just wouldn’t say it. Maybe she gets it from me.

Gigi: Oh good! Someone I can call for backup. Now, I think it would be comical for someone who has read this to actually be nearby when it happens again. Wouldn’t you all feel empowered to help?

rachel: LOL, get ready for this. (I’m blushing) One day in Mexico we were near the pool and Lucy started having a moment. She started screaming for no reason I could see. It was a cool day, and the pool was cool too. I picked her up, thinking pretty much what you said, what if I could shock her out of it. I was smiling when I did this. She kept screaming, so I jumped into the cold pool with her. She was SO MAD. She kept screaming. I kept smiling. LOL I think Aaron was shocked. He took some great pictures of the event though;) She wouldn’t stop as I swam around with her. So I said,(smiling) “On the count of 3 you are going under!” She can hold her breath and go under water. So I counted and dunked her. (MADDER STILL) and I was almost laughing, because I now what. I counted again and dunked her. She came up yelling. I think I dunked her 3 or 4 times before she said. “Why did you do that to me?”I said, “You were out of control. You can’t scream under water.” Her response, “That was rude mom!”

What are our options? We can’t spank our kids anymore.

Lauren @ hobomama: I know. Everyone stares straight ahead and pretends they are not impacted. HELLO! I really did talk to the flight attendants on our next flight too. I told them to please intervene if my daughter starts screaming. At first they were thrilled. They came up to meet Lucy and then pulled me aside and said, “Wait, she has a disability, maybe she can’t help it.” I told them, she can help it and PLEASE help me if she screams!

I think the moral of the story is, give people permission to help. Tell them the best way to help.

Tammie: I wouldn’t say we do everything right. Sometimes it feels like we are muddling through. Recently when she needs a timeout. I put on headphones and work in another room. It throws her off that she is getting no response to her tirade. When the time is up, or when I’m ready I’ll start talking to her. Last time she asked, “Couldn’t you hear me?” I said, “No I was working. I have better things to do than listen to you scream at me.”

RaeAnne: Well it is sounding more and more like SPD isn’t it. Maybe it’s time to try a new OT and PT,

rachel: REALLY? I have wondered if there is something that can take it down a notch, though I hate the thought of doping her up. Interesting. How did they diagnose it? What kind of doctor did the eval? or tests? I’ve had people suggest she might be depressed, a little Zoloft might help, but I don’t think that’s it.

Kayren Babcock: I hope there’s a special place in Heaven, because sometimes it’s a living Hell.

Venisa: Leah is very bright. We worked hard to make sure she acquired language in spite of her inability to hear language.

Li & Alana davey: I love all of the great resources coming in! Thank you.

Christopher: Wow! All I can say is wow! Your 5th?

Debora McFarlane: I don’t think it is spoiling him at all.

By: Debora McFarlane

Debora McFarlane — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 02:09:26 +0000

I always love to hear about someone else’s challenge with their own screaming child so I can learn from their experience. My grandson, Mikie is 9 years old, has Noonan’s Syndrome and is Deaf. He has always had these loud out of control fits when he doesn’t want to do something or wants something. He will lay on the floor at Wal-mart or in the middle of the road, kicking and screaming. I’ve gone around the corner so that he couldn’t see me and it didn’t matter. I’ve taken him into the bathroom, talked with him, asking what do you want and always end up just waited. My first instinct is to try to find out what he wants since he rarely lets anyone know. My second is to spank his bottom, but he has severe scoliosis and trying to force some children regardless of their health just seems to make them scream more or I hurt myself ;-(

For the longest time Mikie just didn’t choose to sign so communication was frustrating for the entire family. His mother and I sign, but he has just in the last year started to sign. The educators at Blossom Montessori School for the Deaf have really brought the best out of Mikie. They have been patient, working around his medical surgeries, missing school, etc. He now wants to learn.

Lately, I have chosen to just hug him until he is through screaming and kicking. I wonder if this is spoiling him. Yet, I don’t give in and give him what he wanted, I just tell him no and hug him if he lets me or stroke his head till he stops crying, then we go on. This makes me feel less angry and the crying doesn’t seem to last as long. It’s interesting and very challenging.

By: Christopher

Christopher — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 20:29:21 +0000

Wow, sounds like one of my boys sometimes. I adopted 4 boys and two have disabilities. I always get the same thing from people who think just because they have a disability treat them different. However, I have learned it is all about education but some people do not want to be educated. I see this as their loss because children with special needs are truly Angels.

I am in the process of adopting my 5th child a deaf 14 year old boy with spina bifida. As a single dad most think I am crazy but love children and always wanted children. In foster care there are so many wonderful children who need a loving home.

Again many thanks to you for creating such a wonderful tool like ‘Signing Time”. What an amazing story you have to share with so many. Would love to have you come share your story with my high school ASL students and my parents who have deaf children and deaf children with multiple disabilities. I think your story would be a huge impact on them.

Thank you,

Christopher Worley

By: Alana davey

Alana davey — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 23:21:09 +0000

Just reading these posts, some of you are far more incredible than
i could hope to be in your situation, but, being a mother to two kids who can often be a handful (and often at the drop of a hat) i find that employing Cesar Millan’s techniques of calm assertiveness, and even his three rules of Excersize, Discipline and Reward, which he applies to our four legged counterparts can be a huuuuge help! The problem could be, and you may not even realise it, is that
in certain “high risk” situations your energy maybe changing towards your children. My thoughts are that this stranger on the plain displayed the calm assertive energy that calmed both Lucy and even you down! I highly recommend reading
his books, they are a good read anyway!

I wish you all the best with your lives, and happy Christmas to all of you.

By: Li

Li — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 06:02:19 +0000

Have you heard for NAET? (http://www.naet.com)? My daughter has severe food allergies. It sounds a little weird, but it works! It’s been used for other diagnosis as well. Might be worth checking into. They key is finding a good practitioner. I can ask our practitioner if they know of someone near your area, if you’re interested. Blessings to you. You’re an inspiration!

By: Venisa

Venisa — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 05:56:49 +0000

Thank you for sharing this story! It really is nice to hear. I can sooo relate. My 9 year old has a language impairment. She didn’t speak until age 3 and her overall expressive/receptive speech is slower in developing although she is very bright. Anyway, sometimes it is hard to tell where frustration from the language thing ends and stubborness and bad habits begin. Leah is so impressive even if she wasn’t deaf that sometimes in the past I have compared her to my nonhandicapped child. Thanks again!

By: Kayren Babcock

Kayren Babcock — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 12:56:09 +0000

I am laughing so hard as I read this-not at your plight but that I too have put those headphones on and thought- well, there is nothing I can do now but wait it out. (or at home- go cry where no one sees) Bless your heart mom – and all of ours whose children have those sensory issues- they are a beast- and mine too will gain control is someone else depending on who it is just tells him that he knows better than that and boom he stops- his OT specialist can just snap her finger and say, “stop that right now you know better than that” and he stops- oh to have her magical powers. I pray for your strength and tenacity as you deal with SPD. There is a special place in Heaven for our children and for us!!!

By: rachel

rachel — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 23:17:58 +0000

hi rachel, its me rachel. i posted on your ’strong enough to be your mom’ post. just wanted to let you know that my josie, who has spastic quad cerebral palsy startles very easily and would cry and cry. she eventually was diagnosed with infantile spasms. these could be triggered by anything…cough, scream, barking dog. this is a form of epilepsy and is now treated with phenobarbital and valium and this has helped so much! just wanted to pass this along. rachel